Title: 'The Tablets of Mario"
List of Characters:
-Main Characters:
Gilgamesh the King of Uruk = Mario the King of Mondo
Enkidu = Luigi
-Minor Characters:
Shamhat = Princess Peach
Humbala = Bowser
Ishtar = Princess Daisy
*Animals that Enkidu/ Luigi are raised by = Goomba (chestnut people)
Utnapishtim = Wario
-New Characters:
The aliens from outerspace.
The Tablet:
The story begins in a time in the distant eras of history. A time that has been long forgotten, a time not often spoken of amongst our elders. Nevertheless the story with a great yet humble human being who goes by the name of Luigi, having lived amongst the Goomba nation known to some mortals as 'the chestnut people'. Among these small creatures of surprisingly sharp intellect, he passed his youth grazing in the meadows and drinking at their watering places.
One day a hunter-goddess by the name of Ishtar was on an expedition to find the double peaked mountain of Maru, at the base of which was the spaceport of the extra-terrestrials. The fair skinned goddess’ intention was to go to the heavenly abode of the extra-terrestrials in order to get help against a ruthless tyrant by the name of Mario who ruled a great city kingdom called Mondo.
On her quest for the majestic mountain with peaks piercing the heavens, the goddess finds the mortal Luigi in a small cave. Finding the mortal Luigi resting outside the cave she is shocked with how barbaric he is, however what could you expect from a mortal being raised in the company of animals and Goomba from infancy. The mortal had yet to see the four corners of the world, neither the rose cheeked goddess or Luigi himself could ever imagine the places he would go to and the people he would encounter not to mention fiery tempered demi gods and demons. His world was merely a small and lush plain and these wild Goombies were all he had ever known.
The goddess, upon seeing Luigi inquired who he was and from where he had come. Seeing that he was very strong and possessing bravery the likes of which she had never seen amongst mere mortals. She thought to herself that this was the
-Main Characters:
Gilgamesh the King of Uruk = Mario the King of Mondo
Enkidu = Luigi
-Minor Characters:
Shamhat = Princess Peach
Humbala = Bowser
Ishtar = Princess Daisy
*Animals that Enkidu/ Luigi are raised by = Goomba (chestnut people)
Utnapishtim = Wario
-New Characters:
The aliens from outerspace.
The Tablet:
The story begins in a time in the distant eras of history. A time that has been long forgotten, a time not often spoken of amongst our elders. Nevertheless the story with a great yet humble human being who goes by the name of Luigi, having lived amongst the Goomba nation known to some mortals as 'the chestnut people'. Among these small creatures of surprisingly sharp intellect, he passed his youth grazing in the meadows and drinking at their watering places.
One day a hunter-goddess by the name of Ishtar was on an expedition to find the double peaked mountain of Maru, at the base of which was the spaceport of the extra-terrestrials. The fair skinned goddess’ intention was to go to the heavenly abode of the extra-terrestrials in order to get help against a ruthless tyrant by the name of Mario who ruled a great city kingdom called Mondo.
On her quest for the majestic mountain with peaks piercing the heavens, the goddess finds the mortal Luigi in a small cave. Finding the mortal Luigi resting outside the cave she is shocked with how barbaric he is, however what could you expect from a mortal being raised in the company of animals and Goomba from infancy. The mortal had yet to see the four corners of the world, neither the rose cheeked goddess or Luigi himself could ever imagine the places he would go to and the people he would encounter not to mention fiery tempered demi gods and demons. His world was merely a small and lush plain and these wild Goombies were all he had ever known.
The goddess, upon seeing Luigi inquired who he was and from where he had come. Seeing that he was very strong and possessing bravery the likes of which she had never seen amongst mere mortals. She thought to herself that this was the
although i understand that it is set out like it has been written on a tablet, the big block of text needs to be spread out a bit more into proper paragraphs to make it easier to read, and some grammatical errors, such as 'majestic summitless mountain with its peaks piercing the heavens,' a summitless mountain should not have any peaks, or if the peaks are piercing the heavens, it is not summitless
ReplyDeleteThanks alot Kae, i have gone over the text and fixed the grammatical errors and the odd spelling mistake, and as for the summitless peaks i have edited that also :)
DeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteWow thats a interesting cross-over, I wouldn't have thought of it myself.
I agree with Kae though about changing the spacing on the tablet. At the moment it really is difficult to read. When you write it out in your final you could also try changing the font or changing it to italics, something like that. I see that done often in novels when they show us a scroll or text from a book.
Anyway, I do look forward to what you will come up with :)
Thanks alot for your response, yes i have spaced it out and paragraphed it. As for the change of font i will consider that for the final copy. :)
DeleteHey, yea this is an interesting cross cover.. I like the title of Marios tablet.
ReplyDeleteAside from the aesthetics of paragraphing and font etc I wonder if it would make the piece a little more coherent to have some variation in the length of sentences.. they are all fairly long usually with one or two commas.. there's nothing wrong with that but some variation might add a little to the reading experience.
Hey Nicola, good idea about the variation in the length of sentences. If i do change the length of sentences it may make it easier to read as well as perhaps adding to the overall reading experience. I will definately take it into consideration when i write up my final fan-fiction copy. Thanks.. :)
DeleteAre the tablets chapters? I don't quite understand what this is. It is an interesting cross-over if you get the stories sorted. Maybe more planning would help with your final? Grammar needs to be checked and it's pretty descriptive so far! Keep it up.
ReplyDelete